Sunday, February 20, 2011

Using Silence in the Art of Conversation

A conversation is a dialogue between two people. I have been in a few conversations as of late that have inspired this blog. I realized that, “I can’t get a word in.” I mean I honestly have to scream to “break in” on the “convo” like we are playing conversation double dutch which is completely exhausting.

I have a friend whom I love. I completely adore her but in her mind the world actually orbits her. If she breaks a nail the moon will actually fall out of the sky and she will call me. And, the minute I see her calling I either completely ignore the call and return it when I have the energy to entertain her. Or, I answer her call, put her on speaker phone and find something else to do while she goes on and on about her toe nail polish.

It baffles me that she doesn’t get annoyed by my rebuttals of “uh huh,” “wow,” and “really,” “no way.” But, I realized the conversation is not about me. I am a tree. I am a blank wall. I am her sounding board.

It gets annoying. I doubt she knows what I have done in the last 2 years. But, I am really concerned about her dating life. Most men do not want to be talked to death. Men like to feel free. They are generally scared of being cornered in general and being cornered in a conversation with no way out is like a nightmare for them.

Silence is an excellent component in the art of conversation. Use silence in general conversation because it allows the other person to get in a word. And, it allows the other person an opportunity to get out of the conversation in case they are tired of talking. There is a lot of energy transferred in it. One of my biggest pet peeves is the way a person will speak a MILE a minute. The entire conversation revolves around them, their needs, and their dramas which will deplete you and leave you spent.

And, if you are a person who finds that you do not take a breathe between words in your dialogue with friends and loved ones…give them a break. Let them tell you about their new toe nail polish or the story about the poodle they saw pull people out of a burning building. It’s ok. You will get your chance.

#I’m just saying…

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